Triple Chocolate Scones

This recipe was posted by Tasty.  I wonder if they’re hiring for the position of the person who makes all these recipes at Buzzfeed.  I already feel super qualified after 6 months of trying this shit out.  Someone hook me up.

Here’s what you need:

For the scones:
2/3 cup heavy cream
1 large egg
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
1 3/4 cups all purpose flour
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder- They called for Dutch-pressed.  That shit sounds fancy but I wasn’t about to go buy more cocoa powder for this so regular it is.
1/2 cup sugar
2 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1/3 cup cold unsalted butter
2/3 cup dark chocolate chips- These I did splurge for because then I could eat the rest

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For the glaze:
1/4 cup cocoa powder
1/2 cup powdered sugar
3 tablespoons milk

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In a small bowl, whisk together the heavy cream, egg, and vanilla. Set this aside.

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In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, sugar, baking powder, and salt.  Now cut your butter into smaller pieces and add to the dry mixture.  The video shows them cutting the butter in with 2 knives.  I did this for about 15 seconds and realized that’s annoying.  I grabbed our masher instead and used that.  Later, I saw you can also use a pastry blender.  In case you don’t know what that is, like I didn’t, it’s one of these.

After you cut the butter in, the mixture should look like “coarse crumbs.” Fancy baking language. Stir in your chocolate chips.

Now add your wet mixture and stir until just combined.  At this point the written recipe says to add more flour or cream accordingly.  As someone who has never made scones, like most average people, I have no idea what to base this “accordingly” off of.  Needless to say, I stuck with it as is.

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Next, knead the dough a few times on a lightly floured surface. And by lightly floured I mean cover the shit out of your surface in flour.  This dough was so damn sticky.  I added flour 3 times, trying to also get it on my hands, because it was sticking everywhere.  I also washed my hands about 4 times because of all the dough stuck to me.  Not much kneading happened.

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If you follow the video, you will form the dough into a small rectangle and cut it into 8 wedges.  If you read the directions, you will form the dough into a circle and cut 8 wedges.  Buzzfeed.  How the fuck are you going to write up a recipe, then make a video of the recipe, which you post on the written directions, and have them be different? Mother fucking how?

Now take whatever wedges you cut and place them on a baking sheet.  They didn’t line theirs, I did. Do you.  These do spread when you bake them so don’t smush them together on a small pan.  Bake at 375 degrees F for 20 minutes. Cool on a wire rack.

To make the glaze, add the ingredients into one bowl and whisk, or stir, the shit out of it until it’s combined. Drizzle this over your scones.  Or, if you are like me and your glaze is too thick for a beautiful, movie worthy drizzle, just pour it on top and smooth out over the scone.

Something to note, my scones did come out looking lighter in color.  I’m assuming that is because I did not want to go find some fancy cocoa powder.  Taste wise, they were good.  I thought they were a little dry.  Josh enjoyed them.  He said they tasted a little like pop tarts. “Would eat again.”

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For more pictures and shenanigans, check out my Instagram @yourmomsposts.

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